I still remember the pain. The hollow and empty feeling in my chest that just about ate me up last year. To go through that again.. would be hell. After all that, I'm aware of how much damage one can do to another emotionally. And yet I still repeated the mistake shortly after. I'm very sorry, A. But ah, at least our short and sweet time together numbed that goddamn feeling. Short, yes, but long enough for me to realize how pathetic I was.
A sentence to sum it all up: Karma bit me back, hard.
Which brings us back to why I can't commit. I know that I suck. Well, pretty much. But the fear of getting hurt, the fear of watching my entire life crumble in front of me and not being able to do anything is just..
And it was me who set off the chain of events, which makes it all just suck much more. (Took me eons to admit this.)
I would love to say more, but things would get a tad too personal if I say anything else. I certainly do hope that explaining it this way would help you understand better.
You'll always be that friend, for me.
There're not enough hours in a day, and I can't seem to catch up with time.
Sucked for training today. The sun killed and it's just wondrous how the world spinned at an alarming rate for me and me only. How weak.
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